-- Barbara Stanwyck in "The Night Walker"
photos by Hugh Halestooke, Albert Sanchez, Remsen Wolf, John Epperson and Brian Theis
I CAN'T WAKE UP!
-- Barbara Stanwyck in "The Night Walker"One night, very recently I decided to make myself up like Joan Crawford (what a surprise!) before I went to sleep. Clutching Joan's Oscar and her very own script for "Mildred Pierce," I drifted off to dreamland. I did not dream I was in my Maidenform bra, but I did fancy that I was drifting down a deserted Melrose Avenue in Hollywood. There, I noticed in a shop window a picture of myself disguised as Joan Crawford. That made sense, but the photo of myself as Gloria Swanson was confusing. Equally odd was the likeness, in the third shop window, of myself as Dovima. As I drew closer, I saw that I, Lypsinka/Dovima, was on the cover of Vogue! The pages of the publication opened and I felt myself tumbling into the magazine like Alice moving through the looking glass. I fell onto the stage at the Roxy as the crowd screamed and I spun like a top, all the time wearing an Anthony Wong creation made to look like a Girl Scout gone bad from drinking Chanel No. 5. As I spun like mad, the green of my ensemble morphed into the greenery of Central Park, and the camera of my dream pulled back to reveal me dressed in Joan Crawford's very own wig (from the cover of her brilliant book "My Way Of Life") and caftan, and holding Suzanne Farrell's mother's poodle. The camera pulled even higher into the heavens and I gained the epiphany of realizing that Joan Crawford isn't God; Agnes Moorehead is!! I roused myself from my dreamlike state and was grateful to find that the two sailors for whom I am providing scholarships were still in the next room! photos by Hugh Halestooke, Albert Sanchez, Remsen Wolf, John Epperson and Brian Theis